People have different style preferences. So much of what makes advice good is the right style.

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So I randomly came up with this system last night (applicable to any advice that is given or received in any kind of relationship, not specifically formal advisor/advisee relationships) to be good at advice

Different levels of advice

Examples

Jane is anxious that her date hasn’t texted her after their date

Not that anyone talks this way in real life, but I feel like we could all be better at it if we could be like “What kind of advice are you looking for?” “Ya just L1 and L2 advice, thanks.”

How to not *give* bad advice

Being knowledgeable isn’t enough — so much of what makes advice good or bad is your ability to navigate their communication style and what they’re really asking. We have a tendency to project our preferred style on others but we should be tailoring our communication to the receiver. It’s not easy.

Choosing the right level for the receiver as the advice giver

Also

How to not *get* bad advice

Most advice sucks, but good advice is not just the advice giver’s responsibility.

Here’s what you can do as the receiver to get better advice

How to communicate your needs clearly. If you want —

Also

I feel like a lot of content in this post might seem intuitive on the surface…but if it was, everybody would be good at advice and I wouldn’t have written it. For me at least, having a framework allows me to do a gut check and make my intuition reliable in the moment. I shared this because I hope it might be useful to someone else.

Thanks for the read.